Practice What You Preach

A lady saw a pastor whose right butt cheek is showing from his worn out jeans. When the pastor saw the disgusted reaction of the lady, he immediately turned his back. Completely appalled, the lady left. The pastor’s companion who is with him, saw it all, turned and asked his friend:

“Hey what’s the big idea?”

“Oh this (points to his exposed butt cheek)? Practicing what I preach.”

“Practicing what?!”

“What I preach. Which is why I willingly turned the other cheek.”

(ctto for the image above)

Difficult Women

If you feel tormented having a difficult woman, remember that only bloodied, badass warriors deserve the priciest war booties. - (The) Name’s Not At All Relevant

Cognitive Bias

Cognitive bias – preference of lies and half truths that support one’s biases because the other argument is too inconvenient and too sharp for one’s fragile, balloon-inflated-like ego. - (The) Name’s Not At All Relevant

You Better "Bilibid"

Trillanes in utter disbelief as SC convicts him of his charges:

“I can't Bilibid!”

What If I Meet the Anti-Me?

What if I meet the anti me?
The once I thought
obliterated during Big Bang
long lost then found
the volatile concoction
the catalyst
the critical mass
the same badass
face-to-face?

They said he’s me
and I am he
It’s just that we have
opposite charges
What does that even mean?
Is this the Yin and Yang
of Oriental origins?

And from where is he exactly?
How can he
just pop out of nowhere
from nothing?

By who’s authority
is he summoned
into existence?
And in the same way
be gone in an instant
in a fraction of a second?
Can he just leave 
and come back no more?
Is he even aware
that when we meet
the borrowed energy
by which we both exist
will return to the Source
and cause us
to cease just being?

Is he my evil twin?
Or am I the evil twin?
Would he embody
the things I envy?
Will he complement
my imperfections?
Will he turn green
drooling
of what I already achieved?
Or will I be the one
to flood the Himalayas
and turn the desert green?

Shall I punch him
to break his nose?
or will the anti-me 
give me a hug
and a pat in the back?
And end up
releasing energy
and obliterating ourselves
in the process?
Or will it spark
a new cosmos
same as what
we know today?
Or maybe it already did?

No... Wipers?

Why the ruckus over toilet papers?

Just imagine sitting there, dropping “bombs” and then you realized you’re gonna have to sit on ground zero… FOREVER!

- (The) Name’s Not At All Relevant

The God of Tactical Interrogation and Cross-Examinations

Daddy and son, both cops, talking to each other:

Son: Dad, can you shed me some light on tactical interrogation and cross-examination?

Daddy: (without even looking up from the broadsheet he’s reading) You’re barking at the wrong tree son. There’s someone more skillful at that, better than anyone who wears the badge. Go and ask your mother…